|
Final
Authority
Who has the final word in your life?
If your parents taught you something, and you
find that God’s Word says something different, who
do you believe and obey?
Maybe society, or experts on child-rearing have
taught you something, and it sounds so reasonable and
right. You
like the sound of it and you decide that is what you
want to do. But
then further on in time you find that God has said
something contrary to that, what will you do?
God
loves you
You
may think you already know that God loves you. But
it’s a growing thing. How much do you know of His
love? How
much do you trust Him?
Do you know that His plans for your life are
far better than you can even imagine?
Do you know that following His will and plan
guarantees you a great life?
Please read mostly the letters part of the New
Testament ~ Romans through Jude.
These were written to and about us, the
Church. As
you spend time in God’s Word every day, make a
decision that you will do what you learn there.
If you don’t do what God says in His Word,
you are actually following Satan’s plans for your
life. There
are only two ways to live, not three: It’s only
God’s or Satan’s; that’s all.
The more you hear the Word and do it, the
more you will be blessed ~ succeed at everything
you do ~ and that includes the way your kids turn out!
God’s
Way
Prov. 13:24, “He who spares his rod, hates
his son, but he who loves him, disciplines him
promptly.”
Prov. 19:18, “Chasten your son while there is
hope….”
Prov. 20:30, “Blows that hurt cleanse away
evil as do stripes the inner depths of the heart.”
Prov. 22:15, “Foolishness is bound up in the
heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive
it far from him.”
Prov. 23:13-14, “Do not withhold correction
from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will
not die. You
shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from
hell.”
Prov. 29:15, “The rod and rebuke give wisdom,
but a child left to himself brings shame to his
mother.”
A
right way
If a child does something that makes you angry,
and you start beating on him to vent your anger, that
is child abuse. A good rule to follow is, two swats
for disrespect, and three for disobedience.
Other things like accidents or misbehavior
that hasn’t been forbidden, can’t be punished.
You teach by your words.
Not
your hand
Hands are meant for loving, so save them for
that purpose. You don’t want your child to flinch when you bring your
hand toward him!
Use a flat sanded board about three inches
wide, ¼” thick, and about 18” long.
We made a narrowed place for our hands to grip.
We got it at a lumberyard in a bin of scraps. A
paint stick is fine for a toddler. A wooden spoon will
leave bruises, and a paddle like a ping-pong paddle
has too much wind resistance to be effective.
Some people have found that a slender twig will
sting the legs but not leave bruises.
This is good too.
Once,
quietly
You can train your child to obey your voice
when you give a command once and with a quiet voice.
You must tell them that this is what you expect, and
that you will give the three swats after saying it
once softly. If you are consistent, it will work.
That is the key.
If you are not consistent, the child will never
know when you really mean it and when you don’t.
That creates confusion and disrespect toward
you! If you want respect, be consistent! Your flesh is not going to help you in this.
It would rather stay seated when the child
disobeys, than to get up and give the swats.
Here,
it would be impossible to answer all the questions
that surround the subject of spanking, but you can
find a lot of answers in James Dobson’s book called,
“Dare to Discipline.”
There
is a brochure about the size of this one called, “Children;
Fun or Frenzy” by Pat Fabrizio.
It is very good, but she seems to have gone to
extreme when she tells about waking a child from sleep
and telling them we weren’t obeying God by not
spanking, and then giving the spanking! That would
surely instill a fear ~ might they disobey God again?
Lots
of Love
Hugs, kisses, holding, smiling, playing
together things the child enjoys, and really listening
to them ~ these are a few of the ways to communicate
your love. Without
lots of these, spanking is not going to work!! Loving
and spanking go together. Either one without the other
is disastrous! Many examples could be given.
When you've given a spanking, hold the child on your
lap and tell him that you love him and that you want
him to have a good life. Ask him if he wants to live a
long time and have a good life. Then read Eph. 6:1-3
to him, and say,
“See? That's why I had to spank you.”
Parents usually don't begin early enough, teaching
their little one to obey. His cuteness and their love
for him are strong, and they don't want to spank.
They're thinking, isn't there some other way? But the
longer you wait to make them learn this lesson, the
stronger their selfishness is growing, and the harder
it will be for the parents to gain control.
Times
with God
Spending
some time with God in prayer and in His Word every day
is vital to give you the wisdom and the love
that is needed in this delicate subject, and it will
give you the power to do things God’s way. I
had a friend who also had two little kids when I had
mine, and I tried to tell her how to follow through
when she threatened her kids.
But she never could do it, and now I know why.
What
about in public?
When my boys were both small and I had to take
them shopping, I would tell them that if they were
good, I’d buy them a treat when we were done ~
usually an ice-cream sandwich or a cookie.
The first time I did this, I needed to explain
what I meant by being good.
It meant when I say “No,” you will not beg
or whine to try to change my mind. And you will obey quickly and quietly whatever
I tell you to do. I never had to take them to the car
to spank them or spank them after we got home. |
